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What do psychologists and accountants both say?

It's important to be positive.

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How did the bad sergeant behave?

He was rotten to the corps.

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The order of what 2 syllables makes the difference between happy and sad?

Being upbeat is better than being beat up.

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What does praying and Swiss cheese have in common?

They are both holy.

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What is the government official in charge of the fence called?

The Minister of De Fence.

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Why was Emily very careful when she made right and left turns with the car?

Because one good turn deserves another.

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What do you call a small circle that is very relaxed?

Dot calm.

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What is it called when a mystic is hopeful about the future?

Opti-mistic.

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Where in Manhattan are you most likely to find a spot for your car?

Central Park

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What happens when it rains at Yankee Stadium?

Damp Yankees.

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What was Edith's reaction to reading the book on anti-gravity?

She couldn't put it down.

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What is a survey done over the phone called?

A telephone poll.

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