Pictures:

Why did Jim and Beth take one evening a week from their family life to eat dates?

Because that was their date night.

322

Why did the luxury home builder use only inexpensive laminate kitchen countertops?

He lost his marbles

216

What are suits called that students in a high school class wear during political demonstrations?

Class action suits.

3075

What do you say when you finish going through the everglades?

See you later alligator.

163

How did Marty know what types of kitchen counters his customers really wanted?

It was always counter-intuitive.

2942

Why didn't Jerry mind if his dog didn't tell the truth when the dog was asleep?

Because he let sleeping dogs lie.

145

What happens when you put on a thick sweater and get very hot?

You become the sweater.

1918

How did the alien feel when trying to socialize with people?

Alienated.

2305

Why don't people realize when the owner of a flower shop makes fun of them?

They can't see the florist for the tease.

193

What kind of doctor is specifically assigned to you?

Your-ologist.

2451

Why did the mother love carry her child?

She started loving it when she carried him before he was born.

3288

What is a good slogan for the Republican Party?

The elephant is relevant.

1140