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What is it called when a prisoner sends a text message?

Con-text.

1968

Why did the towel feel so tired after it was used?

It felt like a wrung out towel.

1131

When the Smith family went camping, why did they go in 1 tent or 3 tents, but not 2?

That would be too tense.

2454

Why was the homeowner scared of the zombies at his front door?

They were dead ringers of friends of his.

1277

A square not.

2666

How did the trucking company become so successful?

They went the extra mile.

323

How do the bags in the supermarket feel?

They are fit to be tied.

2534

What occurs when the amount of garbage exceeds space in the trash can?

It is beyond the pail.

1247

What did Sylvia say when her lunch fell down a well by mistake?

Oh, well.

369

What do you call noodles that are very fresh?

New-dles

1019

If FedEx merged with UPS, what would the new company be called?

Fed Up.

2192

How did Arnie feel when he slipped in the garbage dump?

He felt down in the dumps.

701