Pictures:

How do you describe a mediocre seamstress?

A so-so sew-sew.

485

What did the Arial, Helvetica, and Courier fonts say to each other?

You're not my type.

759

How did Martha feel when she cut her vegetables into very small pieces?

Grate.

585

How did Dr. Frankenstein end up putting the wrong brain in body he built?

It was a no-brainer.

471

How did Phil become such an expert at bumper cars?

He took a crash course.

868

Why was the son of a drapery store owner upset when flunking out of college?

He knew it was curtains for him.

376

Why did Marty not want to get rid of his old beat-up car?

Because then he would be wreck-less.

1829

Why is the 'sea-food' diet so effective?

You see the food, but you don't eat it.

834

What piece of clothing is named after the neck of a reptile?

Turtle neck sweater.

1675

Who represents the National Bicycle Tire Association?

Their spokesman

3208

What do you call a delicious English herring?

Yum kippers.

437

What did the cemetery director say when a man bought one grave, and then another for his wife?

"Hmm...the plot thickens!"

255