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Akiva Lane
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What kind of ship demands total control?

Dictator ship

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Akiva Lane
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If a window was put into the neck of the Statue of Liberty, what would it be called?

A pane in the neck.

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Akiva Lane
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What does a website have in common with a tightrope walker?

They're both online.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the young lady feel when her date was rude?

She felt dis-missed.

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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't Beverly believe anything written on the humidifier?

Because it was full of hot air.

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Akiva Lane
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What do programs, programmers, mathematics, lumbermills, and fireplaces all have it common?

They all use logs.

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Akiva Lane
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What excuse can be used by a person who drinks too much?

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal labotomy.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the problem with debt?

The silent bee inside of it can sting.

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Shane Ronay
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How does a butcher greet his customers?

Nice to meat you!

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Shane Ronay
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What is 100-proof Wild Turkey?

Seeing a wild turkey with your own eyes.

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Akiva Lane
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What kind of tonic is very boring?

Monotonic.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a story about a mouse that lives in 2 cities?

A Tail Of Two Cities.

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