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Akiva Lane
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Did Arlene like the new vacuum cleaner?

She thought it sucks.

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What do you call a delicatessen that specializes in lox?

A lox smith.

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What do you call a large amount of stamps?

A stamp-ede.

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Why did Fred buy stock in the perfume company?

The way they made cents from their scents made sense.

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What is a fancy expensive scale called?

Upscale.

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When Anne's mother suggested that she learn how to play bridge, what was Anne's response?

I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

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What is someone called who lies about how much he eats?

Dish-onest.

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What is this?

The leaning tower of pizza.

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Why didn't Bill like going to malls?

He felt that if you see one, you see the mall.

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What is the person called who cleans the white board every day?

Chairman of the board.

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When Alan was arrested, why couldn't he accept invitations?

He was fully booked.

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Why did Liz putting a wedding song as her phone's ring tone?

She wanted a wedding ring.

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