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How did the honor student ace his Political Science exam?

By being politically correct.

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What happens when a person has to work on Sundays?

It's a weakened weekend.

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What US city has 2 male children?

Tuscon, Arizona.

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What kind of carrots are worth their weight in gold?

24 karats.

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Why did Linda name her dogs Rolex and Timex?

They were her watch dogs.

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Why did Jim's friends buy him a 10-foot pole?

Now he has a 10-foot pole to not touch objectionable things with.

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Why did the bakery shoot their cake up in a rocket ship?

They want to say their cake is out-of-this-world.

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How did the teacher feel when he realized that no one was paying attention to him?

He felt like he was the chairman of the bored.

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What do you call an item in a store where the price tag is unreadable?

Priceless.

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Why was a homeless man invited to join the London Symphony Orchestra??

They needed someone to play an 'oboe'.

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What do you call a group of investors that trust each other?

A trust fund

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What did Betty call the fish meals that she loved eating?

Delicious fishes.

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