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Shane Ronay
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What happens to dairy cows when they die?

They get CREAMated.

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Akiva Lane
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What word describes looking forward to see your aunt?

Aunt-icipation.

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Shane Ronay
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What's a good career for a Math Major?

An Add Executive

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the bed feel bad?

When people slept on it, it felt under a rest.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Jim's friends buy him a 10-foot pole?

Now he has a 10-foot pole to not touch objectionable things with.

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Akiva Lane
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When it rains, how are trees and grass similar to people?

They enjoy taking a shower.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Marty respond when his wife accused him of drinking a fifth of whisky?

He pleaded the fifth.

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Akiva Lane
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What is ironic when we eat food because we don't want it to go to waste?

Often that's the food that DOES go to waist.

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Akiva Lane
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What's worse than a crazy driver?

Someone who drives you crazy.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a successful young man that hardly ever sleeps?

A son that never sets.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the motto of chiropractors?

We're got your back.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Beth wear sneakers when she did the wash?

In case the colors would run.

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