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Why are we held accountable for what we eat?

Because a person can choose what he chews.

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Why do female sheep often have an identity crisis?

Because they think, "I am a ewe".

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What did the tree do when it felt like just a stick in the mud?

It branched out.

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Why didn't the cafeteria label their trays A, B, C, D, etc?

Because the second one would be 'betray'.

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What phrase suggests that we should research potential marriage partners?

Check mate.

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What company is similar to how Sammy used to have a rock band?

Sam Sung.

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How do you describe Arnold getting new boots for his computer robots?

He rebooted the computer robots.

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Why was the conductor proud of the orchestra he started?

He was very instrumental in its formation.

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How did Dr. Frankenstein end up putting the wrong brain in body he built?

It was a no-brainer.

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What's another way of saying that it seems that I have 4 pears?

It appears that I have a pair of a pair of pears.

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Which two animals have the lowest integrity?

The lyin and the cheetah.

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What do you call a family that has generations of restaurants?

A dine-asty.

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