Pictures:

Why were the vegetables upset when Marty put salt on them?

They felt assaulted.

2907

Why are the tops of mountains called 'peaks'?

Because they peek at us from a distance.

1414

Why didn't Mike want to go to the supermarket?

He was afraid of the 'eggs aisle'.

2148

What nickname did Billy's English teacher give him because his essays were so good?

Bill of writes.

2383

What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.

853

What do new packages of medicines and many aquariums and zoos have in common?

They have seals.

2853

Why didn't the king allow anything to be placed over his throne?

He didn't want to think about the phrase 'over throne'?

2410

What happened to the man driving with a broken tail pipe?

He became exhausted.

828

What do you call a school with just a few students?

A minuscule mini-school.

2168

How did Sandra feel about half the numbers when she was learning arithmetic?

She thought they were odd.

904

How did the man who ate nothing but vegetable soup for decades live to be 100?

He took good stock in himself.

372

What do you call a veterinarian that used to be in the army?

A vet vet.

1586