Pictures:

What is happening here?

He's checking his bill for web service.

310

Which vegetable is best served mashed?

Squash

1046

Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?

Because it's pointless.

971

What is the different between a tree and an elephant?

A tree's trunk is its largest part.

1508

What was it called when Grace tossed a pea pod to someone she wanted to stop arguing with?

A pod cast to start a peas process.

1181

Why was Bill on the lookout for turnips?

He didn't know when they might turn up.

2745

What did Gil's back say when he returned from a trip?

I'm back.

1595

Will the door squeak when it's opened and closed?

That hinges on whether it is oiled.

643

What 3 letters are very exciting?

XTC

2970

What food is this?

Apple Pie

3054

What did Alice call the hair she cut off because it was full of knots?

Forget me knots.

2453

How did the head of the orchestra feel when he couldn't find people to play in it?

It was disconcerting.

1712