Pictures:

Why was the baker happy?

Because he had all that he kneaded.

802

How did Oedipus feel after he found out what he had done?

He felt like an Oedipus wreck.

1948

When one spouse says, 'I've had it up to here', what can the other spouse say?

What is 'it' and where is 'here'?

611

Why was Donny very confused about pens?

Because his teacher said that you could fit a lot of animals in a pen.

2944

Why didn't Janet want to wait in line for 5 hours for tickets to the concert?

She didn't know if she could stand it.

2102

How did the inventor of the Jack-In-The-Box come up with invention?

He used out-of-the-box thinking.

426

What do call someone who is very stitious?

Superstitious.

3114

How is the metric system similar to a guy going on a date?

They both involve a 'meet her'.

588

Why did the light switch feel ambivalent about the people in the house?

Sometimes it felt turned off.

1936

Why did Arnold start a company that makes shovels?

He wanted to do well in spades.

1033

What being always acts and feels lousy?

The louse.

2394

How did the world react to Edison's invention of the electric light bulb?

They thought it was a brilliant idea.

2993