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How did Irving's family react when he wanted to be called Izzy?

They found it unnerving.

667

What do you call it when someone is envious of another person's ability to be as flexible as Jello?

Jello-sy.

130

Why is the last part of a meal called dessert?

That's when people desert their diet.

34

How did the teacher feel about the dry-erase white board.

He thought it was remarkable.

3023

Why do we peel fruits and vegetables?

It makes them more appealing.

171

Why did Alan enjoy reading the novel about a back doctor?

He liked spine novels.

919

How much does marriage change a relationship?

It completely altars it.

1467

Does the manufacturer make much money from selling these?

Nah, they make peanuts.

1338

What did Bill say when Max wanted to kill a bug that landed on Bill's watch?

You're not going to do that on my watch.

2158

After someone stole Bobby's clothes while he was swimming, did he get home without people seeing him?

Yes, but just barely.

301

When the nerve cell tells the muscle cell to contract, what is the muscle cell's reaction?

You have some nerve!

546

Which doctor is best to oversee your knee surgery?

The Joint Chief of Staff

186