Pictures:

Why did one man leave the card playing group of his wife's friends?

He needed to "de-talks".

506

Why did the shoes cross the road?

Because the chicken was wearing them.

996

To measure the size of a bagel, how much of the bagel do you include?

You include the whole.

2660

Why was the optician embarrassed the morning after the party?

He'd made a spectacle of himself.

352

Why didn't Max like racketball?

He thought that people who played it were off the wall.

2594

What type of arm cast is this?

It's a cast of characters.

2872

What Beatles song is about a bee in a vegetable garden?

Lettuce bee.

123

What did Bill's therapist say about his putting plus signs in front of all numbers?

He said it was a good sign and a positive development.

109

Why did Bill bring a hammer to the party?

He thought it might be useful to break the ice during conversations.

1524

Why is a body of water on the moon crazy?

It's a luna sea.

2909

Why did Liz putting a wedding song as her phone's ring tone?

She wanted a wedding ring.

1911

A swimming pool table.

3066