Pictures:

Why were Bill's friends always calling him up?

Because his nickname was 'Up'.

3234

Why did Jim feel like a flamingo?

Because he couldn't put his foot down.

1684

How is someone who falls similar to someone in debt?

They are both losing their balance.

1924

What kind of glasses are these?

They're reading glasses.

2890

Why couldn't Alan sit in a chair when he worked?

He was a stand-up comedian.

1703

How did Joe afford an expensive water filter system for his home?

At a liquidation sale.

1212

Why should you never scream into one of these?

You'll strain your voice.

1239

What do you call a daisy with a bad sense of balance?

A whoopsie daisy.

1561

What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.

853

What is the room called where people make salad dressings?

The dressing room.

2330

What do labor unions have to do with your son's friends sleeping over?

Boy cots.

2196

What vegetable do you not want to take onto a boat?

A leek.

524