Pictures:

How to properly refer to someone convicted for illegally texting?

Con-text

1093

What happened to the fireman who fought fire with fire?

He got fired.

1405

Who oversees decisions at a car alignment company?

The Steering Committee.

838

Why was the teacher arrested for using a compass and a ruler?

They are considered weapons of maths destruction.

671

What's worse than a crazy driver?

Someone who drives you crazy.

3132

What do cows use for money?

Moolah

2963

How did the new photographer's business double in no time?

Increased exposure.

1599

What did they say about the king who was only 12 inches tall?

He was an excellent ruler.

3209

What is Martha's parrot's name, if its second name is Esther?

Polly Esther.

589

A square not.

2666

What happens if certain fowl don't build insulated nests for winter?

They go cold turkey.

1276

What did the mother say to get her son to stop playing video games and come to dinner?

Step up to the plate.

3025