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What can you say about a candle before you light it?

It's met its match.

1528

Why did Alan quit his job as a probate attorney?

He didn't like putting on heirs.

816

What is similar between a teenager with a credit card and a rhinoceros?

They are both dangerous when they are charging.

1629

Why did the asterisk, question mark, and pound sign act up in class?

They thought they were special characters.

3310

What is the study of vintage radios called?

Radiology

1998

What kind of ship demands total control?

Dictator ship

2387

What is a bee called right after it is born?

A newbie.

2604

What does it mean when there are 2 lions in the middle of the road?

It means that cars shouldn't pass each other.

3351

Which dog breed enjoys eating twice as much as other breeds?

The Chow Chow

1519

What sentence commemorates how Isaac, Jacob, and Moses met their wives.

Well, well, well.

625

What does a penthouse have in common with the lead article in a magazine?

They are both a cover story.

2912

How did Johnny feel when he spent all the pennies in his piggy bank?

It left him cents-less.

97