Pictures:

What color learns a lot by reading books?

Red

2975

What can you say about someone who thinks he will make a lot of money playing dice?

He's in a fool's para-dice.

79

Which sea creature is stranger than a platypus?

An odder

188

In Amanda's school, why didn't the teachers write errors in the margins of the paper?

Because the paper they used had no margin for errors.

1716

Why did Joe stop stealing, get a job with a salary?

He found that crime does not pay.

2609

What did Max do when the plumbing company made a mess of trying to fix the bathroom blockage?

He decided to sue her.

342

Why did the flock of unshorn sheep keep bumping into each other?

They had the wool over their eyes

222

How did Joe feel when he reached to pick up a stick, and it turned out to be a rattlesnake?

He felt rattled.

3089

When Mark got sick and couldn't play trumpet in the school band for a week, what did he do?

The doctor gave him a note that he couldn't play notes.

2806

Why do jockeys have a reputation for being lazy?

They horse around all day.

619

What did Bill realize when he stood in the field at dawn?

As he looked OVER the morning DEW, he realized he shouldn't rush and OVERDO the things he hadn't done yet, though they seemed OVERDUE.

3097

What do doctors and musicians have in common?

They both use instruments.

2426