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Why did the light bulb have emotional problems?

Because it was turned off.

1218

What do you call someone who believes only 12.5% in a Universal Being?

An eighth-iest

232

The new movie about RVs should be a good one.

I saw the trailer.

1404

What do you call someone with no capacity at all for gardening?

A blooming idiot.

1147

Why did Alan make sure his deck wasn't empty when he played with his kids?

He wanted to make sure he was playing with a full deck.

1738

How did the writer feel when his books were no longer cited?

He felt ex-cited.

2079

What fruit can't get married quickly?

Cantaloupe.

718

What is a hotel called that is named in honor of potatoes?

Suite Potatoes.

584

What is ironic when we eat food because we don't want it to go to waste?

Often that's the food that DOES go to waist.

2472

What do dentists never tell their patients?

Keep your mouth shut.

623

Where can you buy black markers?

The black market.

3153

What do you call someone who has a very active radio show?

Radio-active.

172