Pictures:

On what kind of day does time seem to go slowest?

On a fast day.

2834

Why did the homeowner get upset that he had to install this?

He just needed to vent.

639

What kind of tea brings people closer?

Sincera-Tea.

3394

Why was the whole school on pins and needles waiting for their test results?

It was an acupuncture school.

242

Why did the weight-loss clinic hire a dermotologist?

To make people skinny.

1816

Why was the keyboard unhappy?

Because its keys were always depressed.

2099

What do these both have in common?

They're both pits.

3192

When the music tracks that Jay submitted lost the music competition, what was the ironic result?

He made a lot of money off the beaten tracks.

1127

Why are visitors to the zoo sometimes directed by mistake to the room with the bats?

People think they asked where the bat room is.

3016

When Jim made a party on his yacht, why did he try not to invite too many people?

He didn't want to go overboard.

3324

Why did the writer visit the U.S. Mint?

To coin a phrase.

199

What happens to one's ability to walk after 8 drinks?

The results are staggering.

1235