Pictures:

Why was Bill's band - that hummed while playing drums - not successful?

It was humdrum.

2026

Why did the Jones family put pails at the edge of their property?

Because everthing after that was beyond the pail.

947

Why is a mind like a parachute?

It only works when it is open.

175

What type of gopher is the most difficult to keep out of a celery patch?

A stalker

1444

Why do bald people find it difficult to throw out their comb?

They can't part with it.

1897

Why did Martha carry a small rock with her?

To remind her that sometimes life is hard.

532

What can you say about someone who thinks he will make a lot of money playing dice?

He's in a fool's para-dice.

79

What did the lottery operator do when a group of actors won the lottery?

She counted her lucky stars.

458

What number does a train say?

Two - Two.

1680

Why did the plumber do this in response to the judge?

He thought the judge asked for water in the court.

3284

What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.

853

Why did Jill buy a Jiffy car?

Because she wanted to go places and come back in a jiffy.

752