Pictures:

Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What do people in the US say when they want to use the metric system?

Take me to your litre.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

When the nerve cell tells the muscle cell to contract, what is the muscle cell's reaction?

You have some nerve!

546
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why did Martha not appreciate her beautiful kitchen counters?

She took it for granite.

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Shane Ronay
General
Picture

Why is this bandwagon no longer in use?

Too many people were jumping on it.

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Shane Ronay
General
Picture

Do allergists make a good living?

It's nothing to sneeze at.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

How did Alan feel when he put down the heavy box of cucumbers?

Un-encumbered.

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Akiva Lane
General
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What is the motto of people who keep to a strict budget?

We have a budget, and we won't let it budge.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What did the new doctor say to the retiring doctor whose practice he bought?

Thanks for your patients.

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Akiva Lane
General
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Why did Mr. & Mrs. Bear get divorced?

They couldn't bear each other anymore.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What can you say about an elevator's day?

It has its ups and downs.

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Shane Ronay
General
Picture

Why was a homeless man invited to join the London Symphony Orchestra??

They needed someone to play an 'oboe'.

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Shane Ronay
General
Picture

Why did Mother Goose's child stay home from school?

It was a lame duck.

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