Pictures:

What did the football player say when he punted the ball by mistake?

No punt intended.

3328

Why was the lady afraid to get her head measured at sea?

She was afraid of cap sizing.

190

When the camp went camping, what did they call the group that got splinters?

The splinter group.

2475

Why was Fred confused by forms?

Because he didn't know if he should fill them IN or fill them OUT.

1010

What kind of key can make you drunk?

Whiskey.

2961

What do you say when you look at the ocean after a long time away?

Long time no sea.

90

Why are we held accountable for what we eat?

Because a person can choose what he chews.

2544

Why did Beth get so upset when there was only one straw left in the dining room, and someone else took it?

Because that was the last straw!

567

How did Andy feel when the skin doctor cancelled his apppointment?

He felt irritated.

2929

What happened to the magician driving down the street?

He turned into a driveway.

966

What is someone called who is so good at finding things, that people pay for searching?

Profound.

2306

How to properly refer to someone convicted for illegally texting?

Con-text

1093