Pictures:

What does the Constitution have in common with balancing a checkbook?

Checks and balances.

1158

How do you describe professional athletes?

They are pro-active.

2766

What excuse can be used by a person who drinks too much?

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal labotomy.

610

What did the lottery operator do when a group of actors won the lottery?

She counted her lucky stars.

458

Why did the guy on a date bring an elephant with him?

He wanted to have appeal.

3239

Why did Arnold lie down next to bread in the bakery?

He wanted to be rolling in dough.

762

How is this person feeling?

He's down in the dumps.

3057

Why was Bill on the lookout for turnips?

He didn't know when they might turn up.

2745

What do you call a place where you can relax and sort things out?

A re-sort.

142

What food made Emily think about what happened in the past?

Pasta.

2298

Why did Richard have someone throw his clothes from a plane and watch as they fell?

He felt it was best to spot your clothes before washing them.

2610

What is a required course for train designers?

Pullmonology

2005