Pictures:

Why did the baker receive a list of duties from his boss one at a time?

They were given on a knead to know basis.

1497

What is this man's position at the company?

Chairman of the Bored

1469

What did the driver say when she nearly hit a fawn crossing the street?

Oh deer!

268

What do you call someone who loves displaying their mink coat?

A show fur.

3254

What type of gopher is the most difficult to keep out of a celery patch?

A stalker

1444

Did this school receive its name on purpose?

No, by occident.

487

Why is rationalizing worse than we think?

It uses rational lies.

240

Why did the obese woman get insulted when the doctor estimated her weight?

The doctor called it a "ballpark figure".

200

Why does this horse always give leg cramps to its riders?

His name is Charley.

1275

Why is being grateful the best investment?

It always appreciates.

2159

What did the cemetery director say when a man bought one grave, and then another for his wife?

"Hmm...the plot thickens!"

255

Why were the homeowner's dogs silent when a burglar came and went?

They were hush puppies.

1289