Pictures:

What was the computer monitor's New Year's resolution?

1920 X 1080, same as the year before.

1834

Where do mathematicians go on vacation?

Times Square

1434

What do you call online support for barbers?

Eclips

2130

How did the medical student choose Ophthalmology as a specialty?

He researched his options, and the eyes had it.

233

Have you heard of the band called Cellophane?

They're a wrap group.

797

Which division of a hospital has the best patient supervision?

The "I see you" (ICU)

1007

What is the official nut of schools and educators?

mACADEMIA nuts

789

Why must all people grow spiritually?

It's our soul purpose.

1993

What did Rob's wife do when he realized he'd bought a guitar missing some components?

She told him not to fret.

814

What is someone called who cleans vacuum cleaners?

A vacuum cleaner.

367

Is the quantum physics theory about electrons disappearing and reappearing elsewhere really true?

That's neither here nor there.

878

How did the Mexican "Uno Dos" bandits get their name?

They'd leave without a "tres".

1184