Pictures:

Why did the Chinese military leader suffer from malnutrition?

Everyone kept eating General Tso's chicken.

335

What did the sheep say to his friend who had been sheared?

Boy did you get fleeced.

1137

What does an audio engineer do?

Provide sound advice.

1389

How did the man who ate nothing but vegetable soup for decades live to be 100?

He took good stock in himself.

372

Why is this the most expensive dish in the restaurant?

It's 24 carrot plated.

1044

What do you call someone who believes only 12.5% in a Universal Being?

An eighth-iest

232

What happens to one's ability to walk after 8 drinks?

The results are staggering.

1235

A book about basement renovation ideas?

Best Cellars

2215

Why was Timmy destined to become a tennis pro?

He raised a racket since he was young.

377

What is this an example of?

A knee jerk reaction.

1293

Why was no one able to buy more summer hats after a man just did?

That was the last straw.

191

Why did the pastry chef cut her chocolate cake at such sharp angles?

She wanted Brownie points

211