Pictures:

Why did Bob think this would be a balanced diet?

It was 3 square meals a day.

1303

How did diners at the Chinese restaurant react to the LED lighting?

They asked if they could Dim Sum.

334

Why do jockeys have a reputation for being lazy?

They horse around all day.

619

What is another name for the Stanley Cup Finals?

The Punch Bowl

231

What did the procrastinator tell those who said he'd never get anywhere?

"You just wait!"

2220

What did the mother do whose son chewed on an electrical cord?

She grounded him until he conducted himself properly.

433

How did the podiatrist react to having no patients all week?

De-feeted

498

Why was was it so loud everywhere Tim went?

He liked stealing everyone's thunder.

1320

How do billboards communicate with each other?

Sign language

206

Why was the vegetarian disappointed at the dinner party?

He thought sweetbreads came from a bakery.

754

Where does one go to purchase unmovable objects?

A stationery store

295

What did the painter say when told he was supposed to paint the ship WHITE - not navy blue?

Oops - I blue it.

1468