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Akiva Lane
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What symbol is written before it is pronounced?

The dollar sign.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was the investor's nickname 'Yeast'?

Because wherever he put bread, it would rise.

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Akiva Lane
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What can you take when you're tired?

You can take a walk, a break, a nap, a rest, a vacation, or a deep breath.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the push-button go to the therapist?

Each time someone pushed it, it was depressed.

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Akiva Lane
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What computer activity is similar to buying a new pair of boots?

Re-booting.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the sergeant know that he could take all the blankets that were needed?

He had blanket permission.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a house where you go to become more aware?

A warehouse.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the paper say to the pen that was writing on it?

You have a good point.

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Akiva Lane
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How do you describe an exciting job in advertising?

It's an ad-venture.

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Akiva Lane
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What is someone called who is always thinking about buildings?

He has an edifice complex.

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Akiva Lane
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How is the way that cows chew their cud similar to letters to the editor?

They both involve feedback.

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What do you call a hippie who is a phony?

A hippie-crit.

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