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Why was the investor's nickname 'Yeast'?

Because wherever he put bread, it would rise.

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What do you call a perfect egg?

Egg-selent.

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Why did King Louis XV say, "After me comes the flood"?

He reigned for 59 years, and King Louis XIV reigned for 72 years, and after all that reigning, of course there would be a flood!

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What excuse can be used by a person who drinks too much?

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal labotomy.

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What did the paper say to the pen that was writing on it?

You have a good point.

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What happened when the electrician found his mind wandering?

He had a very shocking experience.

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What vegetable should diplomats learn all about?

Peas.

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How do you say hello to the middle of the day?

High, noon!

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How did cell phones get their name?

Because if we're not careful, they can imprison us.

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What's another name for the period leading up to the dot com bubble bursting?

The com before the storm.

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How did people react when Joe pulled down a 'No Demonstrations' sign without getting caught by the police?

"How did you pull that off?"

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What is getting internet sales for scary movies called?

Eeek! commerce.

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