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Akiva Lane
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What is news from last week called?

Olds.

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How did Maxine fold up her laptop?

She folded the screen down.

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What do you call a scientist whose funding got taken away?

A mad scientist.

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What did the new doctor say to the retiring doctor whose practice he bought?

Thanks for your patients.

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When the pioneers cut down trees to clear the land, how did they feel about the difficult process of uprooting the tree stumps?

They felt stumped.

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Why didn't Beth like pressing flowers?

She found it depressing, and she didn't like activities that were cut and dried.

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Akiva Lane
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What has four wheels and flies.

A garbage truck.

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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't Max like racketball?

He thought that people who played it were off the wall.

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What kind of tea seems to last forever?

Eterni-tea.

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What is a newspaper that puts you asleep called?

The snooze news.

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Akiva Lane
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What 2 letters are similar to jealousy?

NV

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Why did Milton Berle say he is going to stop turning around?

Because every time he turns around, another year goes by.

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