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How can we know when someone is ready for dating?

When their dating resume is UP TO DATE!

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What do you call a mine that might be silver and might be gold?

Either ore.

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What are reporters who never retire called?

Permanent press.

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Why did Betty look for someone who loves ceilings?

She thought it would be cool if she got a ceiling fan.

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What can you say about someone who thinks he will make a lot of money playing dice?

He's in a fool's para-dice.

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What are Siamese twins that are spies called?

Double agents.

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Why did Phil stop turning around?

Because every time he turned around, another year went by.

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Why did the prisoner break out of jail?

Because he couldn't finish a sentence.

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How did the Ukraine respond when Russia invaded in 2022?

"You can't rush in!"

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How did Cindy feel about programs that weren't testable?

She felt they were detestable.

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What is it called when you 'burn the midnight oil' to stay awake studying for midterm exams?

Term oil.

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Why don't elephants get upset very often?

They have thick skin.

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