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Why was the athlete with a very bad cold very sad?

His nose was running more than he was.

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Why did the seven dwarves have to go to work every day?

They explain it in their song, 'I owe, I owe, it's off to work we go".

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Why did Trump remove the restrictions on plastic straws?

Because in terms of government intervention, it was the last straw.

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If April showers bring May flowers what do May flowers bring.

Pilgrims

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What are thick paper cups called when they are cold?

Hot cups.

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What kind of money can't be understood?

Non cents.

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What would ticks be called if they were found on the moon?

Luna-ticks.

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What do doctors and musicians have in common?

They both use instruments.

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Why is a young man and woman going out called a 'date'?

Because dates are sticky, and both are hoping it will be sticky.

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How would you describe this?

Spring is in the air.

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What gift does the soccer player not like to receive?

He doesn't like ties, he prefers to get victories.

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When do you stop looking for something?

When you find it.

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