Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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What was Betty's reaction when the glass jar fell and broke?

She found it jarring.

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Akiva Lane
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What fish is married to an uncle?

Aunt Chovies

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Akiva Lane
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Who starred in the animated movie about food?

The bagel had the leading roll.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the prisoner break out of jail?

Because he couldn't finish a sentence.

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Akiva Lane
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What is up and down at the same time?

When you go to sleep drunk, and feel down when you wake up with a hangover.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was Walt Disney happy after visiting Mickey Mouse in the hospital?

Because he saw that Mickey was very animated.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a sentence that has the words 'the the' right after each other?

I really like the The North Face jacket.

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Akiva Lane
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What do they say about the tree that was cut down because it no longer had leaves?

It was absent without leaves.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a collection for money to plant bushes?

A hedge fund.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was Alan not sure he liked playing trumpet in the band?

Because afterwards he felt like he blew it.

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Akiva Lane
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What is another name of the dot-com bubble that burst in 2001?

The com before the storm.

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Akiva Lane
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Why do chickens tend to have egg-streme political opinions?

Because they don't like being in the middle of the road.

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