Pictures:

Akiva Lane
General
Picture

After Bob broke his leg, why wasn't he able to control his kids?

Because he couldn't put his foot down.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

When Jerry looked at his legs, how did he know that he was eating too much?

His calves had become cows.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why didn't Martha like having pet ducks?

She found they weren't what they were quacked up to be.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

How did the veterinarian know that the horse had a cold?

He heard it straight from the horses mouth.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What does a baseball cap and an overturned boat have in common?

Cap size.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What is someone called who is wearing a racoon hat?

A tail bearer.

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Akiva Lane
General
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Why did the police enter the comedy club?

The comedian was a riot.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What was a misunderstanding between Bill and his wife?

She asked for toilet water for her birthday, and he didn't know it meant perfume.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Where do small burps live?

In the sub-burps.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

When do parents feel that they aren't parenting enough?

When - in relation to their kids - they feel only 'parenthetical'.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why did the Jack-in-the-Box have trouble getting married?

He was an out-of-the-box kind of guy.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What did the disorganized actor knew that he had to do?

He had to get his act together.

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