Pictures:

What is a horror movie about a watch that goes crazy?

Seiko

519

In the race, how did the runner's shoes do?

They were all tied.

2246

How do you describe someone who is no longer centric?

Ex-centric.

1415

Why did the bartender put rolls on the bar next to the drinks?

His motto was 'Roll with the punches'.

1246

How did the small piece of wood feel when there was nothing to do?

It was a little board.

51

What has four wheels and flies.

A garbage truck.

510

What ring weight absolutely nothing?

The ring tone of a phone.

2915

Why didn't Martha mind that she had a run in her stockings?

She figured it didn't really matter in the long run.

529

How do you describe the relationship between an Orthopedist and his patient?

A joint venture.

3159

What's a good name for a tanning salon?

Tan Fastic.

2720

What is the difference between giving something away for free and charging a fee for it?

The letter R.

2234

How do you describe a cow that is very particular about the food it eats?

It chooses its cud.

473