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Akiva Lane
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What is it called when someone corrects a Morse code message they regretted sending?

Re-Morse.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the light switch feel ambivalent about the people in the house?

Sometimes it felt turned off.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the pet turtle escape from the box it was in?

With out of the box thinking.

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What do you call a son who agrees to set the table, and one that refuses?

The first is a setting son, and the second is an upsetting son.

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What do sales people do when they make big sales?

They have a sell-abration.

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What is the Sherlock Holmes story where he solves the mystery of the missing pillow?

The pillow case.

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Why did people think the silent owl didn't care about things?

Because it didn't give a hoot.

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Are outsiders allowed into the room called the 'well' in the Justice Department?

No, but it's just-as-well.

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What do you call a collection for money to plant bushes?

A hedge fund.

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What pictures did the family put on the bedroom curtains?

Pictures of tomatoes and eggplants because they are nightshades.

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What happens when a person has to work on Sundays?

It's a weakened weekend.

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Why did Bill try not to reminisce about his days in the Merchant Marines?

He didn't want to miss the boat.

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