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Akiva Lane
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When Shakespeare had writer's block, what was his motto?

Where there's a Will, there's a way.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Betty stop eating sausage?

She thought it was the wurst.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was Joyce amazed when she saw what came before posterous?

It was pre-posterous.

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Akiva Lane
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What happens if a cat falls into vinegar?

It becomes a sourpuss.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the thread say to the needle?

I'm just passing through.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a piece of pottery in the shape of a duck?

A quack pot.

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Akiva Lane
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What's an attitude in life that can make things harder?

Taking things for granite.

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Akiva Lane
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If FedEx merged with UPS, what would the new company be called?

Fed Up.

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Akiva Lane
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Why couldn't Joe say the phrase "A cyclone that looks like a tongue."

Because it was a tongue twister.

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Why did Joe find it hard to get a date?

Because his attitudes were dated.

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Akiva Lane
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What is it called when the letter E moves slowly?

Creep-E.

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Akiva Lane
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What does eating hot food and sneezing have in common?

They are both hot chews.

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