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Why did the loaf of bread feel insecure?

It felt kneady.

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Where does superman shop for food?

The supermarket.

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What bidding in the bridge card game do Democrats like?

No trump.

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What's a religious name for foot doctors?

Ortho Docs.

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What is ironic when we eat food because we don't want it to go to waste?

Often that's the food that DOES go to waist.

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What kind of question is, 'What came first, the chicken or the egg'?

Its an egg-sistential question.

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What happens if a cat falls into vinegar?

It becomes a sourpuss.

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What is similar between slamming on the car brakes and baseball?

They both have a short stop.

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Why was the steam iron that had very little water very tired?

It was running out of steam.

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What is a very strange flea market called?

A bizarre bazaar.

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What are US Treasury Bonds called that move around a lot?

Vaga-Bonds.

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When the patient said he had trouble with his memory, how did the doctor respond?

In that case, you pay me up front.

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