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Akiva Lane
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Why did the guy from a poor neighborhood study to be a car mechanic?

He wanted to go from under the hood to under the hood.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Bill feel when none of the off-switches for the lights worked?

He felt that they were all up-settings.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was the farm worker disappointed?

He thought he was promised a good salary, but they gave him a good celery.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a house where you go to become more aware?

A warehouse.

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Akiva Lane
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What is getting internet sales for scary movies called?

Eeek! commerce.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a new one ounce bottle of perfume with a subtle fragrance?

A new ounce with a nuance.

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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't Martha like having pet ducks?

She found they weren't what they were quacked up to be.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the beginning and end of a hail storm called?

Inhale and exhale.

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Akiva Lane
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What was the problem with the rebellious beaver?

He didn't give a dam.

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Akiva Lane
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What do lawyers do?

They insert and remove claws in clauses.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the football player say when he punted the ball by mistake?

No punt intended.

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Akiva Lane
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What kind of tails come with a list of specifics?

Details.

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