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What do skyscrapers and libraries have in common?

They have a lot of stories.

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What happened to the lawyer who spent too much time drinking at the bar?

He was dis-barred.

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What city in the universe is where you can get a good education?

Universe City.

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What do you call a hyphen that is the size of a football field?

A hundred yard dash.

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How is a liquor store similar to a nursery of babies?

They both have fine whines.

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Why was Bill hesitant to have a rock band play on his yacht?

He was always told it's not good to rock the boat.

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What is it like in a place where everyone lives in tents?

Intensity.

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Why did Betty need to call the dry cleaner where she had left her clothes?

She had a pressing question.

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What's the motto of a computer programmer who enjoys programming?

I never metadata I didn't like.

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How is a face similar to a shoe?

They both have a tongue.

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Why didn't the group of doctors sit down?

They didn't want to be sitting docs.

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What happened to the college when it didn't want to give its teachers a raise in salary?

It lost its faculties.

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