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Why were Bill's friends always calling him up?

Because his nickname was 'Up'.

3234

What is someone called who can't stop weaving on a loom?

A loomatic.

2739

What is a soda with a dye in it called?

Dye it soda.

70

What permission did the poet need to write poetry?

Poetic license.

1776

How is a head cold similar to a lot of traffic?

They're both congested.

119

What are the simplest 2 letters of the alphabet?

EZ

2940

What's the motto of a computer programmer who enjoys programming?

I never metadata I didn't like.

146

Is the author the main person who can edit the book they wrote?

Yes, that is the main person who is author eyes'd.

2683

Who starred in the animated movie about food?

The bagel had the leading roll.

1970

Why do you have to be very careful after drinking water?

Because after you drink it, it's drunk.

449

When the patient said he had trouble with his memory, how did the doctor respond?

In that case, you pay me up front.

1855

How did the American Indians feel about transporting things by travois.

It was a drag.

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