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Akiva Lane
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What's another name for a metronome.

A beat-nik.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the smoker, who craved a cigarette, feel when he got to smoke one?

Nicotine in the nick of time.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Max pick up his glass of wine?

He wanted to lift his spirits.

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Akiva Lane
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How does a salesman fasten a customer's attention to a sales pitch?

It has to be fasten-ating.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the difference between doing many things at once and being hit by a lot of taxes?

One is multi-tasking, and the other is multi-taxing.

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Akiva Lane
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Why can't one say that all Generals are good at what they do?

Because that would be a generalization.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a valley where convicted criminals make silly jokes?

Silly con valley.

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Akiva Lane
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What was the motto of the salami company?

Our wurst is best.

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Akiva Lane
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What are the most active two letters?

BZ

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Akiva Lane
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How did the chiropractor feel when he saw that the work was harder than he expected?

He was taken aback.

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Akiva Lane
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What permission is needed to kill lice?

A lice sense.

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Akiva Lane
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What room grows on a dead tree?

A mushroom.

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