Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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What is the result if you combine a sweet pie and a sharp onion?

You get an O-PI-NION that is both sweet and sharp.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Beth get so upset when there was only one straw left in the dining room, and someone else took it?

Because that was the last straw!

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Akiva Lane
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How did the can opener get its name?

Because it 'can' open things.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was the conductor proud of the orchestra he started?

He was very instrumental in its formation.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Jim write a last will and testament?

Because where there is a will there's a way.

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Akiva Lane
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How do you say in one word that the media is not high quality?

Mediacrity.

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Akiva Lane
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What can you say about someone who thinks he will make a lot of money playing dice?

He's in a fool's para-dice.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the guy from a poor neighborhood study to be a car mechanic?

He wanted to go from under the hood to under the hood.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call someone who drives and flies a car-plane?

An auto-pilot.

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Akiva Lane
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What is something that someone catches, that then causes something else to run?

When a person catches a cold, their nose starts to run.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Joe find it difficult to invest his money?

Because to him it didn't make cents.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call loving swing music in Michigan?

Being in a swing state in a swing state.

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