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Akiva Lane
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How are kangaroos and rabbits different than other animals?

They are the most hoppy.

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Akiva Lane
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If before marriage a man is incomplete, what is he after he gets married?

He's finished.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Beth answer when Phil asked for a second date?

OK, I'll try a re-Phil.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call heating oil that you pay for every month?

Term oil.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the world react to Edison's invention of the electric light bulb?

They thought it was a brilliant idea.

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Akiva Lane
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What do sales people do when they make big sales?

They have a sell-abration.

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Akiva Lane
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After visiting someone, when they say 'It's been great having you', how can you respond?

It's been great being had.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a collection for money to plant bushes?

A hedge fund.

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Akiva Lane
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What was the motto of the salami company?

Our wurst is best.

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Why didn't Janet want to wait in line for 5 hours for tickets to the concert?

She didn't know if she could stand it.

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Why was Kay confused?

Because she didn't know if people were saying OK, or Oh! Kay!

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How did Betty feel when her guests said they wanted coffee instead of her delicious Thyme tea?

She didn't want to waste her Thyme on them.

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