Pictures:

Why did King Midas make a well?

He thought, I might as well.

1836

How did Beth feel about all the knots in her hair?

She was knot happy.

344

What is the motto of people who keep to a strict budget?

We have a budget, and we won't let it budge.

2848

When Sharon found an old copy of Crime and Punishment, what was she holding?

A dusty Dostoevsky.

676

Why did Barry wear an oxygen mask when he saw a beautiful sunset?

Because it took his breath away.

1050

Why did Arnold fly in a plane over the North Pole?

He wanted to get over a cold.

1876

What do you call someone who is an expert at choosing clocks for counter-tops?

Counter clock wise.

2358

Why do shoes sneeze when they get hot?

They become hot-shoes!

1552

What is similar between a house of worship and Swiss cheese?

They're both holy.

1548

What arm of the octopus is the strongest?

The Arm E.

2706

What US city has 2 male children?

Tuscon, Arizona.

1169

How did the recession affect the company that made air conditioners?

It took the wind out of their sales.

1323