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What is the shine of a gold ring called?

Its ring tone.

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How did the mouse avoid the mousetrap?

He just squeaked by.

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What is a well after the repairman fixes it?

Well adjusted.

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What fish is married to an uncle?

Aunt Chovies

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What do you call a tree that has apples for a pie, and it's root is shaped like a square?

The square root of pie.

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What day do armies go off to battle?

March forth.

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If a person is alone on an island, what color does he have with him?

Maroon.

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Why did the chiropractor avoid doing anything too experimental with his patients?

He was concerned it might backfire.

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What did Heaven say to the angel that put too much dew on the grass?

Don't over dew it.

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Why did the spoiled child want to become a stage designer?

He liked making a scene.

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Why was the chef in the Italian restaurant so smart?

He really knew how to use his noodles.

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What is the motto of people who keep to a strict budget?

We have a budget, and we won't let it budge.

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