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Why were Bill's friends always calling him up?

Because his nickname was 'Up'.

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How did Max feel about pulling his old couch to the junkyard?

It was such a drag.

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Why didn't Arnie like downhill skiing?

He wasn't inclined to enjoy that kind of activity.

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Why was the newborn baby bored?

Because his mother just bore him.

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What day in September do women give birth?

Labor day.

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What is similar between a teenager with a credit card and a rhinoceros?

They are both dangerous when they are charging.

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What can you take when you're tired?

You can take a nap or you can take a break.

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Why did the caveman knock rocks together?

To make rock music.

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How did cell phones get their name?

Because if we're not careful, they can imprison us.

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Why didn't Arnold answer questions about beans?

Because he didn't know beans about it.

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What is the medical department at Google called?

Google Docs.

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What do the words pigment, canvas, and paintbrush all have in common?

They are all terms of art.

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