Pictures:

Why did Bill throw a stone out of the car window whenever he made a turn?

He didn't want to leave any turn un-stoned.

2144

What did the person who slept on a hard surface say when waking up?

I hardly slept.

2307

What's the opposite of a Thanksgiving turkey?

A spring chicken.

1011

What does Superman, Batman and South Africa have in common.

They all have a cape of good hope.

741

If a person is comfortable in social situations, what does he have?

Social security.

1995

Why did Samantha always try to keep busy?

She didn't want to be guilty of idle worship.

1760

What do palm trees and calendars have in common?

They both have a lot of dates.

2322

To measure the size of a bagel, how much of the bagel do you include?

You include the whole.

2660

Why was the farmer surprised how much it cost to feed his chickens?

It was more than he expected - it wasn't chicken feed.

2022

What was Pandora guilty of?

Out of the box thinking.

2045

Why is eating a liter of food like adding a T to it?

It becomes litter.

2928

What was the slogan of the resort on the mountain?

Come up, and calm down.

2147