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Akiva Lane
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How is the metric system similar to a guy going on a date?

They both involve a 'meet her'.

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What did the vegetarian say to the salami?

You are THE wurst.

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What would you name a story about someone took over a singing group?

To acquire a choir.

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What do you call lox served in an apartment?

Pad lox.

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Akiva Lane
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What would happen if Earth was attacked by giant spiders from outer space?

A world wide web.

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Why didn't Bill like going to malls?

He felt that if you see one, you see the mall.

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What do you call someone who is dishonest with words?

A lexi-con.

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What do programs, programmers, mathematics, lumbermills, and fireplaces all have it common?

They all use logs.

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How was Gumby when it came to making appointments?

He was very flexible.

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Why did Fred avoid eating hard cheese such as Swiss cheese?

He preferred eating cheese that is easier.

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What is the difference between Moby Dick and a blues band?

One is a blue whale, and the other is a blue wail.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Jim eat steak when he was investing in companies?

Because he wanted a stake in the companies.

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