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Why did the runner not tie his sneakers?

Because he wanted to win, and not be tied.

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What do these have in common: a fish in the ocean, doing things well, and a small apartment?

They all involve efficiency.

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What did the father tell his son who wanted to travel?

Roam wasn't built in a day.

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What skill did Noah use to build the ark?

Ark-itecture.

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What is a happy insect called?

An uptick.

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How do you describe a bar that got bad reviews?

The booze got boos.

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What do you say when you finish going through the everglades?

See you later alligator.

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Why didn't people trust the model E phone?

They thought it was a phoney.

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In a polarized society, what is the result of discussions between people with opposite views?

What is discussed results in disgust.

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What did Heaven say to the angel that put too much dew on the grass?

Don't over dew it.

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Why was Benjy, who was quite large, like a clock?

His nickname was Big Ben.

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Why did Charles find a box of chocolates when he checked into his hotel room?

Because it was a suite.

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