Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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Why should we be very careful handling glass?

There's a reason it's called a pain of glass.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the bike rider say to his friend after smashing into him by mistake?

I didn't expect to run into you here.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the oil prospector say when he found out the oil well was dry?

Oh, well!

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Akiva Lane
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What is a dog called that swims back and forth in a pool?

A lap dog.

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Akiva Lane
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How did farmer Jones know not to feed his ox eggs?

Because the ox rebelled against any yokes.

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Akiva Lane
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Where do you stay if you don't want to move?

You stay put.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the difference between starting a new job and eating hotdogs?

With one you try to pass muster, and with the other you pass the mustard.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Marty respond when his wife accused him of drinking a fifth of whisky?

He pleaded the fifth.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call skinny chickens?

Paltry poultry.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a meal eaten by a pilot in a supersonic jet?

Fast food.

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Akiva Lane
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Why is the centipede considered one of the strongest of insects?

It takes a while until it is on its last legs.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the bear not want to wear shoes?

It couldn't bear not having bare feet.

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