Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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What do you call a person who closes a window because it's too drafty?

A draft dodger.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call someone who lends money at very high interest rates?

A loan wolf.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Mark feel when he used a machine to get rid of his static?

He felt ex-static.

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Akiva Lane
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What does this picture represent?

Mind over matter.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you say to a bowl of kidney beans when you haven't eaten them for a while?

Where have you bean?

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Akiva Lane
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Why was Bob always looking down at his wife's high heel shoes?

Because he was head over heels over her.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the woman do who got sick from the sushi restaurant?

She sued sushi.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the doctor say to the sick person who was too much in a rush?

I'll be doctor, you be patient.

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Akiva Lane
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Why is it important that ducks learn to fly at an early age?

Because before they learn to fly they are just sitting ducks.

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Akiva Lane
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What happens every year in the universe?

We celebrate its universe-ary.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Mr. and Mrs. Tern express their appreciation for each other?

One good Tern deserves another.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Max feel about his rash?

He found it very irritating.

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