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What country is named after neck-wear?

Tie Land.

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How did the frayed knot answer when it was asked to do something?

It said, "I'm afraid not."

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Why didn't Arnold answer questions about beans?

Because he didn't know beans about it.

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Why did Sam put his shoes close to the fireplace?

When people say 'hot shoes', he says 'G-d bless you'.

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What song verses appeal to everyone, and where do they teach this?

Uni-verse, taught in a Uni-verse-ity

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Why did Jim feel like a flamingo?

Because he couldn't put his foot down.

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When is door not a door?

When it's ajar.

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Why didn't Martha like having pet ducks?

She found they weren't what they were quacked up to be.

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What kind of glue do Eskimos use to hold their ice houses together?

Ig glue.

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What kind of tea helps you see things more clearly?

Clari-tea.

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What kind of suit do you go into the water wearing?

A bathing suit.

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What do you call a scientist whose funding got taken away?

A mad scientist.

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