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Akiva Lane
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Why did Beth wonder if her husband had any thoughts in his head?

Because so often she felt that he acted in a way that was thoughtless.

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Akiva Lane
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What does the Constitution have in common with balancing a checkbook?

Checks and balances.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a prosecutor that doesn't respect defendants rights called?

A persecutor.

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Akiva Lane
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When the nerve cell tells the muscle cell to contract, what is the muscle cell's reaction?

You have some nerve!

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Akiva Lane
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What is this?

B4 before B4.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Nicholas's friends call him 'Nick'?

Because that was his nickname.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was the chef in the Italian restaurant so smart?

He really knew how to use his noodles.

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Why did a lot of people want to use Alan Richter's bathroom scale?

Because they wanted to know what they weighed on the Richter scale.

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Akiva Lane
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Since the hamburger was behind in the race, how could it win?

It needed to ketchup.

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Akiva Lane
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What is up and down at the same time?

When you go to sleep drunk, and feel down when you wake up with a hangover.

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Akiva Lane
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How do you compare baseball, bowling, and unions?

Baseball: 3 strikes=out, Bowling: 12 strikes= perfect game, Union: strikes are unlimited.

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What can be said about Betty who didn't clean the kitchen often enough?

She led a life of grime.

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