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Akiva Lane
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What is a price war and an advertising war between stores called?

Retailiation.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you lightening that starts a forest fire?

A match made in heaven.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Alice call the hair she cut off because it was full of knots?

Forget me knots.

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Akiva Lane
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What was Judy's reaction when the milk spilled on the floor?

No use crying over spilled milk.

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Akiva Lane
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Were the people in the Middle Ages bad people?

Not really, they were only medi-evil.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call someone who measures how much status people have?

A statustician

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Why did the family's credit card debt get so large that they had to file for bankrupcy?

Because it was a house of cards.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Arnold fly in a plane over the North Pole?

He wanted to get over a cold.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a delicatessen that specializes in lox?

A lox smith.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the most dishonest animal?

The cheetah.

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Akiva Lane
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When you put chili sauce in the refrigerator in Santiago, what does it become?

Chile chilly chili sauce.

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Why did the towel feel so tired after it was used?

It felt like a wrung out towel.

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